Do you have "friendships
" that are killing you? I mean, do you have the kinds of friends that you come away from feeling like you have to downplay your achievements or talents?
Do you have friends that are overly possessive? Backstabbing? Or, are you one of those kinds of friends? In this post, I will reveal the top 10 behaviors that are killing your friendships - and what you can do to be a better friend and have healthier friendships.
#1 - Jealousy
Guys are jealous, but women are notoriously catty. Trust me. Some women get very jealous and competitive who could not stand for their friends to shine.
With some ladies their only goal in life will be to tear their friends down. So same things goes with guys about jealousy.
How to Spot Jealousy in a Friend
You know your friend is jealous when he/she behaves passive aggressively by constantly making comments (put downs) about your boyfriend/girlfriend, your clothes, your lifestyle, etc. and you find yourself having to downplay your achievements and talents just so they won't get mad or start being competitive.
Jealousy destroys relationships because you can never be happy for the other person. And the very essence of friendship is support for one another.
: If you're the jealous type, ask yourself why you feel so less than. Build your self-esteem by doing esteemable things for yourself and others.
If your friend is the jealous one, have a serious conversation with him/her. Tell your friend you want to be supportive, but that you can't and won't be in a friendship that's rife with jealousy.
#2 - Selfishness (Narcissism)
With selfish friends, it's always about them. Everything has to be on their terms. If you don't go along with their program, they try to make you feel guilty, put you down, etc.
: You may just be dealing with someone who is unaware that they're selfish. If that's the case, you need to gently tell your friend how their behavior affects you.
If you're dealing with a narcissist, you may want to end the friendship, as it will always be one-sided.
#3 - The Manipulator
The manipulative friend can never be direct. They know your weaknesses, so they hint around when they want you to do something, knowing that you will fall for their manipulation - hook, line and sinker.
: Tell your friend nicely that you would appreciate it if he/she would be more direct with you.
#4 - Possessiveness
Some friends always put down any other friend you wanted to hang out with because they couldn't stand for you to be with anyone else. When you wanted to include others in activities, they vehemently opposed.
: Smothering someone -telling them they can't have other friends - is a sign of fear of abandonment. If it's you who's behaving possessively, ask yourself why you're so terrified of losing your friend. If it's your friend who is possessive, ask him/her the same thing - gently of course.
Then seek therapy.
#5 - The Critic
With the critic, you can never win. Sometimes you can almost win, but inevitably the critic will find something wrong with you or what you did, what you're wearing, etc.
Being around someone who is overly critical is devastating to your psyche and your self-worth.
: Let go of the friendship. People who are overly critical will always raise the bar just out of your reach. It's a no-win situation. Cut your losses.